Reflections on 2019, and the winter of summer

I start writing this whilst waiting for my flight back to London in transit at a cafe in the airport in Melbourne. It’s been a goal of mine over the last several months to put aside time to document my thoughts in a particular moment of time. I have managed to write two entries in the last several months for two of my most recent trips abroad; Jamaica in October and Indonesia in February. I was inspired to do it after being in Jamaica with Ben. We were speaking about trips gone by and how the profound impact of a being in a new environment, culture or challenge can only be truly realised after the trip in a days, weeks or months of reflection that occurs naturally in that time. But to truly draw yourself back into that moment at a later date is to document how you felt, or what you were thinking about, in the immediate period after, or even during, it’s the simple idea of keeping a journal.

So far so good, I have enjoyed both the process of writing the entry but also in reading them after publication. The process offers a therapy to the moment but it’s also a rewarding exercise as my writing techniques have progressed to a point where syntax, structure, flow and editing are now a bit easier. I struggled for many years to develop the patience required to write in this manner. University life and then being a junior lawyer also forced my hand in this discipline. I’m grateful for this because it’s part of learning a craft. Which I have spent some time thinking about the notion of craftsmanship and really applying yourself to learn what seems to be a fairly obvious on the surface actually require a huge amount of attention and care before you can really begin to enjoy the fruits of its simplicity. This exercise of making Medium entries is the continuation of this exercise.

2019 was an interesting year for me. It marked half a decade in the UK and my 33rd year around the sun. It was an interesting year as well because I decided to place some of the my own wants second to my relationship with Hannah at the forefront by taking time to be in Australia for several months early in the year but also making sure that throughout the rest of the year I made time to be with her and support her while she was in Melbourne studying. I did this for me to of course, but what I mean really is that I was happy to be with her and I wanted to spend time with her without putting other parts of my life first. Mostly in the realm of my career.

What this meant in reality is that I planned most of the year around how to live my life in London and give Hannah the space to maximise her time studying but also to see what space there was to see each other. I felt I wanted to place her first because I love her and I want to be with her and I had worked myself into a place which allowed me to do this. What I mean is that I had the time, the money and a work environment that were sympathetic to me being away frequently. As a contractor it is the number one benefit of choosing to work in that manner. Employers are also more open to you having time off as there’s no paid leave available to contractors and if there work is being done then there is no reason to deny a request.

Rather than go through the rest of this entry writing a paragraph for each trip I made this year I have decided instead to list them out below in chronological order:

1. France, first for a snow trip to Tinges in the Alps and later to Hossegor for a week of surf;
2. Singapore, on the way to Australia to visit Jonty and Thea,
3. Australia, of course…
4. New Zealand, and of course,
5. Indonesia (Bali), on the way back to London I again went via Singapore to see Jonty and Thea but also Elliot who had recently moved there. When in town I went to Bali for five days in order to visit it for the first time. It was surprisingly great. I wrote an entry about this in 2020.
6. Spain, Cantabria, to attempt surfing but with lacklustre waves it actually became one of the best and more interesting trips of the year.
7. Greece, Corfu, mostly in order to get to Albania but we also had four fantastic days there enjoying the weather, the food and the company.
8. Albania, for Mike’s 30th birthday celebrations at Kala festival.
9. Germany, Berlin to visit Hannah with Dan and Abby and party on.
10. Portugal, Porto, an escape with Hannah to visit this wonderful part of the world.
11. Poland, shortly after France I went to Krakow to visit Dean and see the harrowing location of Aushwitz and the salt mines.
12. Thailand, a trip to visit Hannah halfway between London and Melbourne.
13. Romania, Bucharest and the Black sea with Rael. Such an unreal trip. Many fantastic memories
14. Jamaica, wag wun, Medium entry written all about this.

Each of these trips were fantastic in their own way. I particularly enjoyed going back to Berlin and Hossegor in France. I feel that each time I revisit a place I am familiar with I found something new and exciting. I already wrote an entry on Jamaica and later about Bali in 2020, but I will write a future entry on my third visit to Thailand.

2019 was about visiting parts of the UK that were at our finger tips from London. I did this with Rael and Nashy who both had bikes and were up for taking them on trains and zipping around. Firstly we went to Henley-on-Thames, then later Margate, and finally Rael and I went to Kent. All these trips were an absolute riot, we drank beers, rode bikes and checked out new spots. The big breakfast challenge at Margate was definitely a highlight of of the year. Especially as Nash was horribly hungover, ate only a fraction of the meal and eventually ended up with his head hanging out of the door about the throw up. I also had a trip to Bath with Bron, Elf, Dan, Abby and Hannah for weekend away and to watch the rugby.

Several music festivals were also attended, Download festival in Australia, which was absolutely fantastic, a testament to the resilient rock / metal scene in Australia and a master class in how to run a festival. Secondly, a bit closer to home, was All Points East in Victoria Park, where I went to the Bring Me The Horizon headlined evening. Second, Field Day in North London. After that it, Kala in Albania, then Mad Cool in Madrid, Spain. Finally We Out Here in the UK, which was just gorgeous. I also managed to see a ton of smaller gigs throughout the year including the uber fun One Day at the Disco in East London.

Career wise I had another frustrating year in which I felt constantly attached to job boards or LinkedIn seeking for that unicorn role which would push me into the media and technology space that I have been yearning for what feels like eons. Stop / start conversations or applications feel short because of some inexperience or other candidates having an edge. So towards the end of 2019 I decided that I would stop trying to achieve my goal via the traditional avenue or the job boards only and seek out another way. One immediate idea that sprung to mind was to go back to private practice with a specialist music or entertainment law firm or even look at going back for further education. It’s difficult to sit in a particular lane and view the traffic in to your left as highly desirable but seeing a barrier in the way. You’re so close yet it’s nigh on impossible to change lanes. That’s how I felt over the past 18 months. This line of thinking has certainly determined how I would approach the new year.

I am cautious however of placing too much emphasis on the amount of satisfaction that this will provide in my life. I worry that my ambition for where I should be muffles what I have achieved in the past, or how I have gotten to the present, I struggle to put my finger on when this will end or how to curtail this unrealistic thinking. Perhaps there is a form of mental training via meditation or some event or paradigm shift which will allow me to uncurl that ball up fist and simply relax into the moment. This might be the most important aspiration in my life and one that I may not ultimately reach before my time is up.

Now, as I am three days back into London, the view is to make build on the events and experiences of 2019 and make 2020 even more fruitful and exciting.